


Hellfire

by last_angel



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, F/F, Implied/Referenced Incest, anti-religious, fem!killugon, gender bend, gypsy/priestess AU, negative religious stereotypes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-07 16:31:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4270212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/last_angel/pseuds/last_angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raised to believe and follow a very twisted religion, Killua has always struggled to accept and understand her brother's preachings, but when a young gypsy girl dances her way into her life and shows her a kinder world Killua becomes conflicted over what is right and what is not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Forewarning

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! 
> 
> This was a small gift for my friend Rune, who is my beloved headcanon buddy, and I absolutely _adore_ her fem!Killua. There's not a lot of gender bends out there and personally I love any and all twists that an author or artist can come up with for any character (gives you more room to explore and have fun). 
> 
> So just a little story I came up with.  
> Inspired by the song _Hellfire_ from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. 
> 
> Just to help you understand the story a little more because I don't really mention their ages:
> 
> Timeframe: 
> 
> Intro: Killua - Age: 5. Illumi - Age: 11
> 
> Childhood: Killua - Age: 10 Illumi - Age: 16 Gon - Age: 10
> 
> Teenhood: Killua - Age: 15 Gon - Age: 15
> 
> Adulthood: Killua - Age: 23 Illumi - Age: 29 Gon - Age: 23

_  
“So remember, Killua, those who dwell in adultery or any sort of libidinous practices will be damned to hell and burn for all eternity.” Illumi’s calm but stern voice warned the child who looked upon the crackling flames serving as a physical representation of her future damnation should she defy God’s words._

_The red and yellow flames emitted a threatening blaze. Killua stepped back, seeking refuge behind her brother’s long black robes._

_“But would God not want us to love freely? Love is not something that can be controlled.” The child’s trembling voice dared to rise.  
_

_Her brother’s large, empty voids looked down upon her, expression blank and perfectly composed. Regardless Killua could feel the waves of irritation and judgement clashing against her soul._

_“God, defined love and true matrimony as that between a **man**  and a  **woman**. That is his word and there is nothing more to question.”   
_

_Yet, as she continued to cower, her small fingers clutching the cold robes tighter, Killua stood a little taller, brimming blue eyes defying her brother’s darkness._

_“But…are there not exceptions to the rule? Incest is damned by God as well as love between those of the same sex.”_

_A dark smile formed along those thin white lips looking down at the innocent child. “God only damns ignorant fools, filthy and rotten with sin from the moment they are born.” Large hands encircled her, surrounding her like snakes, constricting around her small body. Killua had to swallow a scream as she felt the serpent closing in on her. “_ _We are not like them. We are pure, blessed by the heavens to cleanse the earth. That is why our love will not be damned. You shouldn’t be afraid.  God is on our side. The law does not apply us.”_

* * *

 

The sun shone brightly down on the humble but beautiful stone roads of the quiet town. Sounds bustled around the narrow streets, children running, vendors screaming and women gossiping the day away. It was a festive sight, one only seen during a time of celebration as was this. 

Killua stared out her window watching the movement in the distance, past the large golden gates. With a bored sigh she looked down scornfully at the thick book chaining her to the small study. Her hand moved swiftly along the loose yellow pages trying to finish her studies as quickly as possible in hopes of being granted some time to explore the town before dark. 

She hardly needed to look at the book anymore, after nine years of having these holy words shoved down her throat, Killua knew every script by heart. She focused on completing the last of her papers, which should not have taken her as long as they had, but the fact that she’d scraped the first three essays she’d written had set her back. She knew, it was easier to just lie and do as she was told, but there was so much she had to question. So much she did not feel was right in her heart and despite the constant threat of damnation Killua could not help but wonder if all she ever knew was wrong. 

And so, the first three - five page essays she’d written, poured her curios and honest thoughts into, were fed to the flames to burn along with her faltering faith. Now as her fingers finished the last of her sentences, with words cold and so distant form her true feelings, a retched echo of the words her brother had taught her, she ended her paper just in time to hear the door creek open behind her. 

She blessed that creek, forced it back every time her family sent someone to fix it. The sound had become a comfort, a warning bell alerting her of unwanted intruders, particularly her brother who enjoyed slipping into her bedroom at night and watching her sleep.  And speaking of the devil the perversion himself stepped through the door with his long, silky raven hair swaying behind him.

“Killua, have you finished?” 

Killua gave a single nod, offering her papers. Illumi flipped through them, eyes scanning every page with a single glance- all seeing eyes of the devil he had- before returning the papers to her. 

“Are they alright? Am I free to go?” The girl asked, biting the inside of her cheek while her brother pondered. 

He looked at her in contemplation before smiling and giving his blessing. 

“Father wishes to help me further my practices so I won’t be able to accompany you today. I’ll send Gotoh to watch over you while you are out.” 

Killua kept herself composed, unwilling to ruin this miracle by appearing too happy to get some time away from her hawking brother. “I see. Thank you brother.” The words tasted sour in her mouth but her practiced smile earned her a pat on the head.

As quickly as she could- without appearing like a prisoner granted freedom from her cell- Killua scurried down the hall finding Gotoh walking up the steps. She called out to him, allowing herself to run into his person and wrapped her arms around his waist. 

“Gotoh! Did you hear? My brother said you’d take me into town today!” 

The man chuckled, his voice deep and fatherly. “Yes, I have been informed.” 

“Well come on, let’s go! I don’t want to waist anymore time!” Killua urged tugging on the man’s hand.

 

* * *

 

Killua ran down the crowded streets, her flowing, white, summer dress catching the eyes of many. Though adults smiled at her, many of them bowing and greeting her cheerfully none dared to cross her path. The street crowd parted in the center leaving enough space for Killua and Gotoh to walk through easily. There was a silent tenseness, a sudden quiet, wherever she went as if everyone, even the children, knew to hold their breaths. 

She was a Zoldyck, one of the five blessed children of the cathedral, and never to be reckoned with.  Not unless someone had a death wish. The villagers knew Killua to be a good child. She was kind and sunny though her arrogance and superiority sometimes still seeped through. No one blamed her for it though, nor voiced it. It’s the way she’d been raised, to think of them all as dirt, and though many would willingly follow her leadership the threat of Illumi and his wrath isolated her from ever knowing of this love.

Long since accustomed to the villager’s distance it hardly bothered Killua now as she made her way to the park where many passing performers made their shows. Sounds of laughter and amusement attracted her to the center of the crowded green circle where even the villagers fought her for a good view.

Up on the wooden stage, a moving vehicle modified to serve the travelers, danced three beautiful women with vibrant clothing. There were bells tied around their wrists, ankles and hips and they swayed with every movement jingling along with the claps of the spectators. A man standing beside the stage sporting a festive yellow and purple shirt, with his long messy beard, played his flute. It flowed as a cheerful melody that made everyone want to dance. The women twirled, each twist emphasizing their curves and seductive bodies. They had beautiful sun-kissed skin and dark pigmented hair, so unlike Killua’s. Legs and arms were slim but strong, muscles prominent when they bent and jumped. 

From the other end of the stage came a small girl, around Killua’s age, eyes a melting gold and hair as black as coal, the reflected afternoon sun looking like dying flame. She wore similar attire to the other three women, a lilac purple that contrasted well against her dark skin. She hopped on her feet playing her tambourine, enticing the laughter and applause of the audience. Her smile was visible behind the transparent cloth masking the lower half of her face. 

Killua’s eyes were drawn to her every move, captivated by the smoothness of her body and swaying of her hips. Their eyes met, the tambourine girl halting mid-dance to stare at Killua. Her burning gaze sent Killua’s heart into a stuttering frenzy and Killua wished to look away in embarrassment and shame but she couldn’t. Those large golden eyes were looking at her in a way no one else had before and it was confusing yet exhilarating. 

The girl moved, her dance changing, the flute man altering his song to follow her. Slowly she approached, jumping off the stage, the crowds splitting like the sea, allowing her to continue dancing. Never did she break eye contact with Killua, even as she turned, her back would arch back keeping their eyes locked and Killua simply stared not even realizing how close the girl had gotten to her. 

With a low bow the girl offered a worker’s hand to her, her other arm stretching behind her, feet crossed and bent. Her body looked like a swan the way it was curled up. The crowd grew silent as everyone realized who she’d stopped before, all claps ceasing. Even the music had stopped.

The gypsy girl looked up at Killua, eyes soft and welcoming, she smiled widely revealing rows of pearly white teeth. 

“Dance with me.”  


	2. First Tick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ^^U ahah, the writing in this one isn't as flowery as the last chapter. Darn my inconsistent writing style!! Still I hope you all enjoy it.

Blue eyes looked deep into the contrasting amber ones looking for some sort of answer. Had she not been so confused she might have felt a little stupid but it was taking an awfully long time to process the request.

 

_Dance? With...her?! ....Dance...Dance...Dance..._

But what _was_ dancing? Though pleasant to watch it was not something Killua had ever been taught and certainly not anything she could replicate. Even their apparel was so opposing. Killua would never be allowed to wear something so revealing! And-the crowd!! Did this girl, this _gypsy_ , expect her to go up on stage and make a fool of herself? No, she wouldn’t. She couldn’t! Her family would...

 

“Dance?” Killua’s soft lips mumbled, eyebrows scrunching up in mild despair.

 

The girl’s hand continued to hover, outstretched, as she took a step closer, black hair falling down her shoulder. Close. Too close. So close Killua could see how long her eyelashes were, the light spotted freckles sprinkled across her cheeks and the dark maroon tint of her lips.

 

“With me.” Those lips insisted, large round eyes begging her to accept.

 

They were so enthralling, the sincerity behind them luring Killua closer into this trap. Mind blank, Killua reached out for the welcoming hand, still hesitant, eyes never looking away from the pool of gold. Before Killua had time to question herself again the gypsy girl took the pale hand in hers and pulled her eagerly towards the stage.

 

Gotoh’s voice could be heard calling out in protest but was soon drowned out by the roar of the crowd as the gypsy girl easily hopped onto the stage, twirling and tapping her tambourine. Killua looked up at the towering vehicle knowing she couldn’t do the same. She stepped back, intimidated, walking right into a pair of large hands that held her firmly by the waist and hoisted her up. Her first instinct was to demand to be released, what right did anyone have to be manhandling her in such a way, but she noticed the women on the stage urging her to join them. Killua’s feet where barely touching the edge of the stage, no firm footing to balance herself on, and already she could feel the hands pulling away. Panic spread through her as she felt herself fall back. Shutting her eyes she only felt the pull of a warm hand, soon followed by an encompassing warmth, her body flushed against the gypsy girl.

 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got ya.” The hushed voice murmured against Killua’s ear sending shivers down her spine.

 

Still feeling a bit woozy Killua kept herself pressed against the gypsy, though the girl didn’t seem to mind. The music continued despite them. The tap and jingling of feet and bells could be herd as the other three women danced around the girls providing entertainment for the crowd. Being so close now Killua could tell the girl was a few inches shorter than her, the way Killua had to hunch a little in order to hide her face in the crook of her shoulder. Pale hands could feel the sun’s warmth on the girl’s tanned skin, even her fragrance having the subtlest hint of berries and earth. Everything about this person screamed nature and freedom, something Killua had never truly known.

 

And just as Killua was drinking in these little details about the stranger, she was also being explored quietly. The gipsy girl allowed herself to feel the curve of the blue-eyed girl’s back watching the little shivers run up her spine. She could feel the softness of her long white hair, an odd color to see even on someone so pale. Her gaze memorized the little she could see of her guest; again unable to keep herself from staring when the girl pulled back and her vivid blue eyes took hold of the gypsy’s attention once more, such beautiful yet sad eyes.

 

“Ready?” The gypsy asked, smiling down on Killua.

 

“Um,” Really she should be saying ‘no’. It shouldn’t even be a matter of question yet Killua wanted so badly to say ‘yes’ despite not knowing what would happen. But then again, that might be what was most exciting of all.

 

As if knowing what Killua wanted the gypsy girl smiled wider and gave her a simple nod before dipping down, Killua nearly toppling over at the sudden loss of support only to be pulled back up and twirled expertly. The gypsy girl lead showing off her catch to the crowd, dancing circles around Killua, and jingling her tambourine. She casted her instrument aside, taking hold of Killua’s hand and pulling her close, dancing in a circle much like when kids played ring-around-the-rosy Killua noticed. Aside from the slight fear of accidentally stepping on any of the gypsys and the lingering embarrassment of being flaunted to the town Killua could feel herself smiling. Her chest felt warm, bubbling with joy and slowly her body lost its stiffness allowing herself to be lead by the daring stranger.

 

The crowed clapped in a cheerful rhythm cheering the young girls on. Killua could hear them whistling and calling out words of encouragement. Her eyes remained on the floor trying to keep up with the gypsy’s movements, her clumsy steps a few seconds behind. Killua did not notice the fond way she was being looked at. The happiness in the gypsy’s eyes to have made such a beautiful girl laugh.

 

The bells rang in the distance marking the start of dusk. The sky had begun to change color yet the liveliness of the town hadn’t waned.  It went unnoticed by everyone when two other Zoldycks approached from behind, their attention having been attracted to the noise.

 

“What sort of blasphemy is this?!” A shrilling voice shrieked silencing the town’s merrymaking. “What in God’s name do you think you are doing to my child?! Unhand hand her you villainous, roaming street rat!”

 

The gypsys stood in confusion staring blankly at the squawking woman. The crowd was rendered a cowardly bunch, each bowing their heads and granting the white cladded woman a clear path towards the stage. She marched forward, disgruntled, a young child following close behind her. As she watched her mother approaching Killua ripped her hand out from the kind warm one holding her and stepped away looking at the gypsy gilr with horrified eyes. She could see the pain and confusion in the amber eyes, the sting of her hand a painful reminder of what she must be feeling. Yet still, Killua hid behind her mother as the woman stormed onto the stage, her thick black hair tightly wrapped up in a bun. Killua’s eyes met Kalluto’s, her brother’s disagreeing gaze dissolving the last of the happiness she’d felt, eyes looking down in shame.

 

“How _dare_ you touch my daughter and tempt her into your ungodly ways?! How dare you all even _think_ you could steal my daughter away from me, from God! You will be damned. You will all be dammed and burn in hell if I see any of you traveling devils ever go near my daughter again!”

 

The square echoed with the last of Kikyo’s screams leaving behind a dead silence. Discretely the crowed began to disperse, families scurrying back to their homes before any punishment befell them. All that was left were the gypsys who bowed in apology. The youngest gypsy sought out the gleaming blue eyes but was rejected by a bowed figure.

 

“Killua.” Kikyo’s sharp voice ordered. Killua flinched and refused to meet her mother’s scornful gaze.

 

“I’m sorry mother.” Was her pitiful reply to an unvoiced question.

 

Her mother’s white robes fluttered past her, Kalluto following as always. Without even a second glance Killua turned her back on the gypsys and walked back to the cathedral.

 

* * *

 

“What were you thinking, going up on that stage and following their steps?! Do you realize what you were doing?”

 

Tears blurred Killua’s vision, her mother’s words piercing her heart, shaming her for the happiness she’d found. The filthy, perverse happiness she had dwelled in. “I’m-I’m sorry mother. I swear I’ll never do it again.”

 

“You most certainly will not! I’d thought you were strong, that you would be ready to face any temptation. Your faith was so solid. How could you falter?”

 

Killua’s cheek stung from a previous slap, the worse of her punishment now over. The fire from the chimney felt too hot against her skin. She dared not look into the blazing light in fear of seeing the devil’s red hands reaching out for her.

 

“I’m sorry mother.” She could only repeat hoping for forgiveness.

 

“Madame, I beg you, it was not the child’s fault.” Gotoh’s voice rang clear, Killua only able to feel his presence somewhere in the far left corner of the room.  “I did not-“

 

“ _You_ have no right to speak! This would have never happened had you just kept your eyes on her! It is your sole job to protect her and look; you let them whisk her away right from under your nose! You imbecile! What if they had kidnapped her? What if they’d raped and sold her? She could have been lost today and all because of you!”

 

Gotoh grew silent. Despite her mother’s venomous words Killua never believed any of those atrocities would have happened, the people she’d met where not as she’d been taught to believe, but it no longer mattered. She doubted she’d ever see them again.

 

“Leave, you are dismissed. Obviously you are not fit to care for my daughter anymore.”

 

Killua threw herself at her mother’s feet, fresh tears spilling over, and voice breaking in despair. “No, no please mama! It was my fault! Please don’t take Gotoh from me! I was the one who-“ He was the only person she had left.

 

“Silence! He has proved himself unworthy. He should be grateful that I am being so lenient and allowing him to remain a servant here. Be aware you also brought this upon yourself. Had you not acted so foolishly he may yet have been your guard. It is clear you are still too young for the world and its poisons. You are forbidden from going into town again. From now on your studies will double and free time will be dedicated to prayer. You must cleanse yourself until every last memory of today is wiped from your mind.”

 

Outside the sun had already died, the night sky engulfing the world in a vast starless blanket, dark clouds hiding even the moon’s silver glow. The fire cackled, spitting sparks the young girl no longer feared, its dying light taking the last of the warmth with it. Her mother walked past her shutting the door behind leaving Killua in a cold, empty darkness.

 

“Yes mother.”

 

 

 

 


End file.
